i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
