we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
