He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
