bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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