The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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