whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
