Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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