barbara walters just said penis...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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