Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize