I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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