RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
