I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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