loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
