nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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