operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
