I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
