I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
