You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
