I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
