Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What a dumb baby whore.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
