I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
