Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i came on her dog
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
