I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why are your pants in the freezer?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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