Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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