ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
