Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
