he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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