That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
