just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
sex in a hospital.. check
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
