i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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