We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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