Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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