better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
