check it out our google latitudes are spooning
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
