I hate your face
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize