i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
