Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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