Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize