butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
