She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
