Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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