HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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