My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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