im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
