hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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