What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
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Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
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I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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