So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
