Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
