my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
