I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
