well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
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We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
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I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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