He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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