In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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