then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
