I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I got inside last night via doggy door
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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