I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
