I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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