do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
