Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
