Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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