Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
