how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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