I wanna bring you to show and tell
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
