so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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