okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
