I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
